If I feel like 25, there is a reason.

Today 25 years ago, on Good Friday, 9th April 1993, I had one of the most significant experiences of my life: I died!

The first story was, I was poisoned by Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, also called DDT, which I used, counselled by the stupid veterinary, on my farm as insecticide. Insects were not so much affected, they had become resistant over time, but I was, and got really bad asthma.

Doctors were not so smart either at the time and gave me massive doses of Salbutamol (Ventolin), which I became resistant to, and eventually died, suffocating over a full day.

The second story I want to tell you is much more interesting, it about what happened when I died.

I was firmly practicing Zen Meditation already for 8 years at the time and I had an intense relationship with a spiritual teacher, Master Ahimsa, by one of his names. You can say, I was kind of prepared to die, I knew the process in theory, had read the Bardo Thodol, the Tibetan Book of Dead, knew how to observe my mind, and to accept and embrace what was coming. I was not scared, but still, the sheer course of what happened, gave me such significant insights and vertical push, that it took many years to integrate this horizontally into my “normal” life.

It started with me getting outside my physical body and watch myself lying on my bed, not breathing any more, with a panicked doctor trying to reanimate me and then finally calling an ambulance. By the way, he could have done this a long time before, but I already mentioned his stupidity, I believe… The ambulance had to come from the nearby small town, took a while and they transported me in the hospital, but I lost the thread inside the ambulance. Next thing I remember from “real” life it that I woke up 3 days later, on Easter Sunday, in an intense care room, tied to a bed and plenty of plastic tubes hanging around. And I remembered everything and it was intense…. I will tell the story of my “dream” and what happened during these 3 days another time, if someone want to know!

Rosho, Berlin, 9/4/2018